But on to the second part of my title. I have a problem that I'm having a hard time with and I need your help. I drive carpool with two other woman in Ogden. One of these is a girl in fifth grade. I drove Friday morning to her house and when she stepped into the car she was crying. Not just a little like a lot. And her eyes were puffy and all that. So, my drive is about 20 minutes to Ethan's school. My heart has gone out to this girl since I started driving because her parents are divorced. And it was an ugly divorce with her dad ending up in jail for trying to meet an underage girl that he met on the internet. This girl turned out to be a cop. So, her mom and her left Arkansas and traveled around for a year or so living with friends, boyfriends and the like until the ended up here. In Ogden. Her mom had a lot of depression issues and so this little girl has had to grow up too fast. Her mom is now remarried to a guy with whom they share a little girl who is 18 months. Sorry for the long back story, okay, so she's told me all this over the last year because I think she feels safe riding in my car and talking to me. So this Friday she got into my car after getting in trouble for not having her room clean because she spent the night having to watch her little sister in her room while her step-dad took a nap. When she tried to explain to her step-dad that she couldn't because she was watching the baby her told her not to back talk. She got so frustrated that she started crying. Her told her that she needed to stop crying or he would take her outside and give her something to cry about. That's when I pull up.
Gulp.
Then she confides in me that her step-dad is really mean to her and spanks her a lot and all that. I asked about her mom and if she's ever talked to her about him and she said that she just cries when she tries to talk to her. And then her step-dad gets mad at her for telling. Uggggh. Even writing this is making me mad.
Now understand that I spank my kids. Not a ton, but I do on occasion. My problem is when step parents physically discipline their step kids. I don't know why. It bugs me. When I was a new parent I was a lot more harsh with my step daughter than was necessary. I didn't realize this until I had kids and realized that kids are kids and to, well, breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's a lot more that she told me that I think are not okay, but not would not necessarily warrant a call to Child Services. Do you know what I mean? So help from all is needed. Thanks. I'm going to go throw up now. Not really I just don't like to think about how much children suffer because of crappy adults. It makes me sick.
Here's my pregnant belly for all you people who like the idea of seeing someone suffer through a pregnancy while you aren't. Bucky was a good sport and put his belly out there to make me feel better... :)
10 comments:
Oh Anna :( It sounds like you are this little girl's soft place to fall, and what a blessing that is. My grandma came from a very similar situation, and even though there were few (if any) that had the power to change her circumstances, there were people that made a big difference. The ones that took an interest in her, loved her, and cared about her, those were the people that made life worth waking up for morning after sad morning, and what ultimately led to her overcoming her horrendous childhood to become the amazing woman I was so proud to call my grandma. Heavenly Father loves this little girl, and I have no doubts He placed you in her path for a reason. ***hugs***
Just kick the step dad in the groin. You can get away with it, you're pregnant. ~Erik
I totally agree with Tiffany. I think you can help her a lot in the long run, if you are there for her. This just makes my blood seriously BOIL reading the story though! Children are so helpless, and it makes me furious when they are so mistreated. It has SUCH lasting effects. Poor kid. I'm glad she has you to confide in. It will make a world of difference in the long run.
Yeah, sounds like you are a blessing to this girl. Sometimes a listening ear is the best medicine and cure. It's good that she feels "safe" with you and that she can tell you things.
Cute Prego Belly! You too Bucky! :)
what a loaded post. oh dear, poor girl. I would say to be very prayerful about what steps you should take and it may just be that you are there to offer reassurance of what a good girl she is, but I would also keep a very close eye for anything that would warrant a police call.
p.s. love both the cute bellies!
Anna, I agree with The Prices. Keep her in your prayers and try to be sensitive to the Spirit on how and when to help. Let her know you're there for her and that she can tell you anything. And, at the first suspicion of abuse, call the authorities.
oh - and adorable belly!
I have a similar situation with the children across the street from us....its is so hard to decide what to do...I would talk to her mother, tell her what you have heard, and then tell her that you will call it in when you think it is necessary. She needs to know that you know and dont think its okay, and she also needs that support. I feel torn about being the sage haven, and grateful that I can be for our little neighbors, but also fear, and am angry at their situation. Pray about it, but those feelings that you have are there for a reason, go with them.....
And yes, your belly is wonderful! Such a gift in the midst of sadness...
How very blessed she is to have you to trust and feel safe...Sounds like you are doing a great job- but HOW FRUSTRATING!
BTW- you two are adorable!
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