Well, blogger friends I have been a bit of a slacker in the newsy newsy of our little family because I just haven't wanted to post. If I can be totally honest with you, my fellow readers, I've pretty much been hating life the last few days. I can't seem to get a very good handle on my emotions. I want to like people, but mostly I just get annoyed by something they say or do.
What is wrong with me? Unlike my saintly, think nothing but the best of the human race, husband most of the population just irritates the crap out of me right now. I think it's the hormones! I mean, I feel out of control, but I can't make myself be more in control. Do you feel me? It's so frustrating. I mean, I go to church and learn about Christlike love and I WANT to feel it, but then I get all grouchy.
And then to make matters worse, Ethan says to me the other day, "When are you and dad getting divorced?"
Cricket. Cricket.
"Well, Ethan we aren't getting divorced. We are fighting kind of a lot lately aren't we? Because I'm grouchy?"
"Yeah."
It freaking broke my heart. I tried to explain to him that just because adults argue doesn't mean that they are getting divorced. And that I would try harder not to fight with dad. So, we are having a dinner and a family talk tonight trying to calm the fears of my 7 year old. How crappy is that? Well, now that you all are scared away from me because you think I'll hate you and think I'm the worst parent on the planet, judge me. Or not, but know that I love you all, I just don't know how to show it right now...
11 comments:
it's the hormones. and it sucks because even though your mind knows it's not rational, you can't help but FEEL those feelings.
sorry dude. I hope it gets better soon. and I think you are a really good mom.
At least you can recognize that you're extra grouchy. It's so much worse when you're in denial about it. You'll pull through I'm sure of it. You're amazing
Being pregnant rocks!! Just another perk of womanhood. Sorry Bucky, sorry Eithan, mommy is going to be crazy untill she has that cute little baby!
So far I've been pretty good with my emotions but its like a brick wall and you never know when you're going to hit it!
We love you too!
It's soooo the hormones and it soooo sucks, and soooo many of us have been there! I recently read an article in the Ensign that said to act better than you feel. It's hard, but a lot of times I actually start to feel the way I'm acting. I feel ya' Anna!
You are such a great writer! I know that's a weird comment after what you wrote here, but you made me giggle so much during my read. I felt you- and I understand.
Amen to everyone else. You're normal, you're awesome, and you won't feel like this forever...though that does little to help right now :)
You know what WOULD make you feel better??? Toilet papering! I've been bitter and ornery lately too (no, I'm not preggers), and so now I'm just deciding on a target. Let me know if you're game...it's GREAT therapy ;) luvya!
Unfortunatly normal. When I look at a pregnant mom who is jsut all smiles, and harmony....I just know shes full of it. My Hometeacher the other day said his wife wanted to have baby number 4. He said he just "didnt want to deal with her again, she awful when shes pregnant", ha ha ha...at least it doesnt last foever right? And what does it say about me if I have those days when I feel that way and Im not pregnant? LOL
i love so many things about you, especially your honesty. It's a rough ride sometimes, isn't it? You're not alone and it is true that it is all hard. Your family is blessed to have you in it. It shows great character that you brought the fighting struggles up in a family meeting. I bet your kids will respect being a part of the conversation and realizing we make mistakes-even mom and dad but we work them out together. Hip hip hooray, I am cheering you on!
I keep being asked by everyone why Troy and I don't have and kids yet and the next time someone asks I will tell them to read your blog. I am quite a grump anyways I don't know if Troy would ever come off the platform if I was pregnant and had more hormones running through me than normal. Haha it will get better in a couple months when that cute little nugget comes out:) Love you sis!
We love you guys!! What you are experiencing is actually "positive M (as in Mom) energy" which though it appears negative is actually positive.
Seriously, mothers pass through the valley of the shadow of death for us. How wonderful mothers are.
Hey Buck, how are you? We think that you guys are both sooo Great!
Love you guys. The O's
P.S. do you know what you're having yet? We better be the first to know! :)
It's nice to see bloggers who can actually write about the real world--not the fantasy we all want others to think we live. I hope you come out of it soon, though, and congratulations of the upcoming baby!!
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