So once again, I need your advice. I am struggling with this decision and it's not a big one, but I just wanted to put my feelers out there to see if anyone has dealt with this before. I am seeing an OB right now. She is very efficient but her bedside manner is a bit...coarse and brief. I literally have spent a total of less than 30 minutes with this doctor my whole pregnancy/ 5 appointments. That's about 6 minutes per visit. And that's even being conservative. I would say my appointments are less than 5. I realize that doctors are stretched thin these days, but seriously sometimes it feels like an inconvenience if I actually have a question or want to talk to her about something.
At first I thought, not a big deal, this is number 3 I don't need a lot of explaining or doting about the stages that my baby is in. But, here's where it gets tricky. I'm really wanting to do a VBAC. Which just means that I want to have this baby vaginally instead of C Section. It is something that I tried with Ethan and it didn't work and with Evie I just didn't feel good about it. But I've prayed and feel good about it with this little guy. So, I'm wondering if my doctor is going to be just as brief when it comes time to have this baby. Is she going to want to just give me a C Section just because it's quicker and easier for her?
So, that's the question, have any of you ever thought about ditching your doc? Because I am. And I don't know what to say or do to address the situation. Help! I would like to go to a midwife because it seems, I don't know, more nurturing?! Any comments are appreciated!!!
13 comments:
Well Im totally in favor of MidwivesLOL :) But, as a teacher I would say, you should demand what you want from any practitioner. There is NO WAY a doctor or anyone for that matter can be there for you like you need when they treat you like a number....its just not even acceptable. If you really want a VBAC that is something that you need to ask the doctor about up front. Point blank. If it is at the mercy of the doc and the team teh day of, it is less likely to happen! You have to find someone to is actively supportive of them from the beginning. There is a National VBAC group, search for them online, get doctor referrals from them. Ruthie Sadler also has info as she just had one with her 3rd after the twins! Go with what you feel! There is NOTHING wrong with switching this late, nothing!
Oh and remember, you are paying them a fortune, for a service you must demand they give. It is also good to look for a practitioner who is humble, and realizes that they are the lucky ones to attend the birth of your child, not the other way around! :)
I would switch. You don't even have to tell your current doctor. She'll figure it out when you stop setting up appointment and your records are transfered. I did the same thing with my last doctor. I just didn't feel like he was for me or my babies and the doctor I have now is great. He's always late, slow, old but he listens to me and takes time to talk to me. I agree with Tyra too, you know your body much better then any doctor. Also it is good to have your plan set up ahead of time so that when the time comes you and your doctor can make the best desicion for YOU. I hope it works out! Good luck!!
YEP! I would switch. It is your special time and if your doc isn't giving you much energy now, I'm sure it won't change later. I LOVED my midwives. That is all I used and I have NEVER felt like I was encroaching on their time. They were always very kind, great bedside manner and eager to help and answer questions and make sure the birth is what you want it to be.
I would TOTALLY switch. I had a midwife when we lived in Provo (the practice was in American Fork) and it was amazing. I still had an epidural, but the experience was so much more personal. I felt like they were my friends, not that hurried out doctor rush you seem to be describing. With the twins I was considered high risk so I had to switch over to a doctor (luckily our practice had both doctors and midwives so it worked out great, and I loved those doctors too). I just wouldn't stay with the one you've got if I was you, especially from what you are describing. Find someone that will listen to you and make you feel like you want to feel. My mother in law was a nurse in labor and delivery for about 20 years and she told us the best way to find a great doctor is to call the local hospitals and ask to talk to the nurses. Ask them which doctors they recommend and you can't go wrong (if you decide to go with a doctor instead of a midwife). After all, these nurses see the best and worst in all the doctors they come into contact with, they know who is good and who isn't! I bet you will get a ton of comments about this! Good luck though!
I would switch and I would totally let your doctor know why! As far as I'm concerned, her behavior is unprofessional and she should know. I tried to do a VBAC 3 times. The first time my doctor did not want me to and we butted heads for my whole pregnancy. It was awful. I finally ended up having to do a repeat C because of complications. Then with my last 2 my doctor was more than happy to help me fulfill my dream of having a VBAC. He even gave me hid personal cell number to call him directly when he was on vacation to notify him of changes. He said he would drive home in an instant to make sure HE was the one to deliver my baby. Note that this man has delivered almost 4 thousand babies!! There are doctors out there who believe that you are important and you have every right to have a doctor like that. Do it! And good luck babe!!
SO important to feel comfortable with your doctor! If you want to switch, you should! And the sooner the better... you don't want to wait too long. That's just my thought though! I'm not sure if it's a state thing or a hospital thing, but since I had two C-sections my third HAD to be C-section; no choice for me or my doc, so you may want to look into that, too? Good luck!!
I echo the comments left by everyone else. I have switched Dr's before and it was such a welcome releif to feel like I was finally being listened to or that if I had a question - to not feel like I was taking precious time away from another patient. And like your friend Lor said - I would let her know why too! Good luck with your decision!
For me, I have babies quick and easy and although it's nice to have an awesome doctor it really doesn't matter who catches my baby. Given your situation, though, I think you should switch especially because it sounds like your instinct is telling you to.
My first was a c-section. With my second I had a great doctor but he wouldn't do a v-back, so I switched doctors 5 weeks before I had nick. I had Nick naturally and it went really well. I knew I needed a new doctor to have him natural and it worked. With Nattie they made me have a c-section because I had one with Ben. I was in a hospital where they would not let me have a v-back because of a prior c-section. The doctors were willing, but the hospital said no. If you had 2 c-sections, it will probably be hard to find a doctor and a hospital that will let you have a v-back. You are in Utah, so things there might be different.
I had a doctor like that...I wish I wouldn't have wasted that pregnancy on her. She was very capable, but just left me with a sour taste in my mouth. My doc now, whom I LOVE is actually in South Ogden and he is one who will totally get behind whatever you decide you want to do(ie. VBAC) assuming your health and your baby's won't be comprimised. I have had about 15 friends change their docs and start going to mine...he is that good :) So if you need one, let me know.
I read your blog a few days ago and can't get you off my mind. I'm sure everyone has an opinion. So since you asked, here's mine. Go with your gut it's your body and your sweet baby. When you go into labor you want to have someone you trust and you can talk to and feel very confident and at ease. With our last child we had a complication at the last moment. I was so glad I had a good relationship with my doctor and when he and his partner walked into the room, I knew it would all turn out fine. Good luck and please let us know what you come up with.
Love Alisa
I tried switching at the end when Quinn was measuring 6 weeks ahead and the Doctor wouldn't do anything. My old Doctor induced me early so the babies wouldn't get stuck and this Doctor seemed all flustered. I tried and they don't allow you to change so late. Maybe it is different for you. I just prayed and had an anointed blessing and Thankfully, although it was expensive I was seeing a Perinatal Doctor since I was at more of a risk with the size and he told the Doctor to induce me early. Next time, I have more in depth questions for the next Doctor.
Post a Comment